Eleven.
Item 11...
regards security for the president's visit.
Now, we're shorthanded as it is, so until further notice...
all days off and vacations are hereby canceled.
Before I get to the last item...
I'd like to interject a personal observation.
It seems that we've reached a new low, graffiti-wise...
in both the mers and womers lavatories.
Now, as an organization of mature men and women...
I suggest that we clean up our act...
our vocabulary and, at the very least, our spelling.
To the anonymous bathroom poet, "breast" is generally spelled...
B-R-E-A-
S-T.
All right, last item.
Belker's collar the other day turned out not to be the rapist.
- Oh, no. - In spite of increased patrols in the area...
we had three more daylight attacks over the last day and a half.
Let's add Waverly and Clark, Hill and Renko to the park.
- I want this animal yesterday. - Good luck.
- Let's roll. - Boy.
- Let's go. - Let's be careful out there.
Let's go.
- Yeah. - I got menthols. Let's hit it.
Hey, Sergeant. Sergeant.
I know. I know. You want to know about a new partner...
and you want to know about your transfer to plainclothes.
- Catch me later, huh? - - Sergeant, you gotta deal with this.
It's not goir away. And it's not what you think.
I talk to the captain today.
In the meantime, I expect you both to go right on serving your fellow man.
Okay, cowboy, you heard the man.
Stop that cowboy stuff. I was born in New Jersey.
I never been west of Chicago in my life.
Dispatch. We have a 9-11.
Armed robbery in progress.
See surplus store, corner People's Drive, 124th Street.
It's been a while, Frank.
Comment �a va?
Hello, Howard.
I thought I smelled that tobacco blend of yours.
What is that stuff?
It's called Dutchmars Gold. My tobacconist imports it from Indonesia.
- Great aroma, Howard. - You might start thinking about Indonesia, Frank.
Some little dugout up in the bamboo.
If I were you, I'd consider it.
Why is that, Howard?
Oh, Judas Priest. Frank, you've got the commander in chief on the front burner...
and you're standing around here with your pants down around your support hose.
- Oh. So, the word's out, is it? - The word?
Hell, I know it. You know it.
Every geek with a wild hair knows it.
Doggone, I don't support the mars gutless politics...
but he is the chief executive.
Security plans are already in the works, Howard.
- I'm sure you'll be notified in due course. - Ah.
You're blowing brown smoke at me, Frank.
What is the operational tableau?
It's still tentative, Howard...
but they'll most likely land the chopper in the south end of St. James Park.
From there, they'll proceed on foot into the avenues.
You know, it's a wonder they can buckle their chin straps, much less run a government.
Frank, a Steyr S.S.G. Hits from a thousand yards, and they're common as dirt.
- I'm aware of that, Howard. - Frank, look around here.
You got your tenements, both occupied and empty.
- You got your commercials, both occupied and empty. - Both occupied and empty.
- Yes, I know. - All well within that range.
Judas Priest! You're inviting any misfit...
with a sniper's mentality to take a whack at the chief executive.
- Howard, could you- - Half the people in this precinct aren't even American citizens.
They're illegal, foreign perverts and malcontents.
They don't even use our language.
Howard, could you sum this up for me? I'm running late.
Give the order, Frank, and I'll have the entire precinct evacuated...
in 18 hours.
You won't find a cockroach between here and the reservoir.
Howard, the whole idea is for the president to meet the public...
review conditions up here himself...
demonstrate his concern for the disadvantaged.
He can't do that, Howard, if you evacuate the population.
Folly, Frank. Pure and senseless folly.
No, Howard, politics.
Who knows? Maybe some good will come of it. I do appreciate your input.
Hill Street. Sergeant Belker.
Hey, we got a blaze goir on in the bathroom!
My sister and her husband live in a brownstone he paid 200,000 bucks for.
You oughta see it. He's got his taste in his kidneys, man.
But when I ask him to lend me a lousy five grand at 12%...
the nerd looks me right in the eye and says...
"Heh-heh-heh. John, you're family. But what can I do? I'm cash poor."
Yeah, man. I can identify with that.
The difference is, my brother-in-law's got a half a million...
in rolling stock sitting in the middle ofhis parking lot-
That, and a seven-digit credit line at the bank.
All I know, man, is that you gotta cut it loose...
or you'll never get peaceful like me.
- Take my cousin Spencer- - Damn it, man, look at us.
You're an ex-jock with one good knee.
I'm a 34-year-old hot dog livir in a two-room efficiency.
I got a closet full of clothes, my car's financed up the wazoo...
and I got a.38 strapped to my ankle.
- Where's it at? - Gee, man.
You know, I was in a good mood just two minutes ago?
- There he goes. - Yeah.
You're on time for once. I'm impressed.
Yeah. Come on, let's get it done, huh?
- Seen enough? - Yeah, let's do it.
- Freeze! Police! - Get up against that car.! Hold it right there.!
Get back. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. I got it.
Okay. Turn around. Turn around, chump! Spread 'em.
- Easy. - Easy, nothing.
Freeze!
Hey, come on. Come on!
All right, take it easy. Take it easy. I'm undercover.
Sure you are. All of us are.
- Check my back pocket. - It's a regular undercover convention down here.
Macafee. Detective Sergeant.
That's right.
Out of Division. Congratulations, pal.
You just screwed up an entire operation.
No way, man. You save that one for the folks downtown.
Put the bracelets on.
- You wanna screw up some more? - Put the bracelets on, Sergeant.
Okay. You're an intelligent man.
Ah.
Here. Open it.
Go on. You earned it.
Fifty grand. Half is yours.
If you're as intelligent as I think you are.
I think it's time you learned the facts oflife.
There isn't a cop at Division above the rank of sergeant...
who isn't into some very serious money.
Okay, chief, in we go.
Yeah.
I lost the sucker. I got a good look at him though.
- You read him his rights? - Him?
He read me his rights.
Hey- Hey, man. It's cool, babe.
We'll nail him next time out, okay?
Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.
Okay, okay, let's move it.
Okay. Okay. Take a seat, chief.
I want a phone call. I want my lawyer down here.
- First we book, then you call. Sit down. - My stomach's gone weird on me.
I don't know I got some antacids downstairs. You mind?
Uh-uh.
- Do I look a little peaked to you? - Always.
- I'll be right back. - Mm-hmm.
- Hey, Fairly, how's it going? - Fine. How you doing?
All right.
From what I know of the president's itinerary...
I don't think he's gonna have time to visit buildings...
on Blood turf and Shamrock turf.
Captain, Captain.
Yeah, I- I kinda figured that you were gonna say something like that...
so let me just come right to the point, okay?
No tour, no treaty.
You know, I got a deal with the Catholic Urban Coalition.
- I don't have to be here. You know what I mean? - Who needs this?
We didn't want to parley with you honkies in the first place, you know?
Gentlemen, please. If- If we're all willing to bend a little-
You said we were here to negotiate a treaty.
But all this white meat's trying to do is suck canal water, man.
The president is on a very tight schedule.
Visiting two ghetto dwellings would be a-a- a duplication of effort.
Mars got a point, boys. You've seen one rat, you've seen 'em all.
Okay, look.! Look.!
I cannot believe that there aren't...
mutualities of interest to be explored here.
Uh, mutual- I'm sorry.
Mutualities of interest...
as, for instance, in theJefferson Avenue basketball court.
- Wh-Wh-What about the court? - Boundaries, dummy. Boundaries!
The line between the Blood and the Shamrock runs through midcourt.
Yes, that's- that's true. He's got a point.
Uh, gentlemen, what I think Mr. Abdul-Hassim...
is trying to explain...
is that the boundary in question prohibits full-court play, yes?
Look, it's very simple. You see, you give us full court...
and we'll let the president cross our turf to get to yours.
See, but there's a problem with full court.
See, when you start bringing in, like, that fried chicken.
- Look, man, I've had enough of you! - The radios.
Look, I'm telling you, monkey-
We get full court, or you don't get no president, you dig?
I think I dig.
I'll tell you what. We're gonna give you Mondays and Fridays for a month.
A month! You gonna give us a month.
Mickey, you know what? I think we just gonna have to take that court off your hands.
- You understand? - How about- How about...
one month...
with an option for a second month?
Okay. Okay, we'll go for the option.
I'm gonna go for the option 'cause I got things to do today.
I'll tell you what...
one white death- one- it's over for you.
Can you live with that?
It'll do.
- All right. - Yeah.
Tell your mama to meet me at 10:00, boy.
Come on, move.!
Belker.
What, are you waiting for an engraved invitation? You know where it is. Move!
You wanna sit down there, or would you prefer internal injuries?
Name.
- Name. - Carstairs, Roland P.
Do you spell that with a "C" or a "K," Roland?
No, man, I spell it with a "Q."
Hill Street, Detective Belker.
Hi, Ma.
I'm, uh, booking a pickpocket.
I'm listening.
Ma, you're not having a heart attack...
so why don't you just give it to me straight?
He's standing at the window with binoculars.
Why is that such a bad thing?
So what if he's a Peeping Tom?
So let him. The man is 83.
All he's got left is his peep.
Ma. Ma. Ma!
I am not arresting my own father, and that's that.
End of conversation.
Hold on for a second.
That's better.
What?
Debbie Kaplan?
Is that Ceil Kaplars daughter, Ma?
What did you do?
No. I don't wanna meet her!
I don't have time for dates.
Okay, I'll call her. What's her number?
Just give me her number. Six, five, eight-
Okay. Okay. I'll call her.
I promise. Good-bye.
Hill Street, Donovan.
Hey, come on. Toodle-oo. Come on, toots, come on.
- Hey, you must be seriously off your feed, lover. - What?
- You didn't even notice the trade. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's nice.
Stomach still bothering you?
Well, Dicostanzo's in the cage, and-
Hey, you sure you're okay, babe?
Hey, I said, yeah.
You know, you're making a serious mistake, man.
That jive about your brother-in-law. You can't let it get to you.
- Yeah, I guess. - You gotta forget it, man.
You'll live longer.
Soon as Dicostanzo's lawyer gets here...
we'll commence us some heavy-duty interrogating.
And that oughta cheer you up.
Thanks.
We're gonna need the place for three days.
The network guys will get the red passes.
The newspapers and radio people should have blue.
We'll give yellow to the magazines.
Why don't we just go with our standard press permits?
I think you're underestimating the size of the press corps...
in a situation like this, Captain.
Our people need to identify exactly who's who...
so we can control presidential access.
Presidential access.
- Hey, Frank, they want a boxing ring. - Who?
The youth club, in return for giving the Secret Service...
their facilities for three days.
- What's a boxing ring cost? - I don't know.
- You gonna give it to 'em? - Phil, please.
Well, I'm sorry, Francis.
I can't help being dismayed at this constant "gimme, gimme, gimme" attitude.
- It's extortionary. - Excuse me.
What's doir?
- Do you wanna see me,J.D.? - Uh, yeah.
Uh, we nailed that dealer, Sonny Dicostanzo.
Way to go. Good collar.
- Thanks. - No problem with it, is there?
No, no. Just wanted you to know.
Okay.
- Thanks. - Right.
Ah-ah.
We're supposed to be on park detail. Just call it in, and let's get outta here.
Uh-uh. Looks like there might be some trouble. I'm gonna hit it.
Okay, all right. Break it up. Break it up. Back off.
Back off. All right.
Look at my car! This fool piled right into me!
- I'm backir out of my garage- - Okay. Okay.
I'll put my fist upside this stooge-ass, man.
Hold on! Hold on! Both of you. Hey, hold on!
Hey, hold on! Both of you.
Would you get over here?
You both stay calm and cool, or I'm gonna run you both in.
- You got that? - Yeah.
- You understand? - I didn't start nothir.
Do you think you could fill out the accident report...
while I run in their licenses?
Accident report.
You just do it.
Accident report. You gotta fill an accident report out in triplicate.
- Damn. - Okay, gentlemen. Let me have your licenses.
This is nowhere, man.
- You know this cat's got no insurance. - Insurance?
Look at the heap he's driving. Insurance costs more than the car is won'th.
I don't need no insurance, Jim.
I ain't never had an accident before in my life.!
Except for that one time I clipped this dude's old lady crossing against the light...
but that wasrt my fault.
All right. Who wants to start?
- I'm comir out my garage- - I was driving down the street.
- This mars coming down the street- - Going about 35 miles an hour.
- Would you shut up? - Did he say "shut up"?
Now, how am I supposed to fill out this report...
if you two are gonna stand there yapping at me like this?
- You just back off, Jim. - Hey, whitey.
Who you calling "Jim,"Jim?
- Uh-huh. - Start walking.
You want an accident report, you fill it out.
What the hell's the matter with you, man?
They don't pay me enough to deal with animals like this!
The first thing they see is a white face, and all they wanna do is do 'em in!
You listen to me, Renko. It was a white finger that pulled the trigger, not a black one!
It was a white one! I ain't gonna never forget that.
And you better not either.
- Hello, is, uh, Debbie there? - Speaking.
- Well, hi, this is Mick Belker. - Mick "Belcher"?
- Mick Belker, Rose Belker's son. - Oh.
- Didrt your mother warn you I'd be calling? - No.
Mothers.
Well, I- I think your mom told my mom...
that you were expecting me to call you for a date, so-
No, I know you don't need a date.
You probably got dates up the wazoo.
Uh, I didn't mean it the way it sounded. That's just a police expression.
Could you hold on for just a minute, please?
- Hi. Uh, Debbie, I know you're probably busy. - No.
I'm just calling to get it over with.
- You're not busy. - No. I'd like to meet you.
- Well, why do you want to do that? - Well, I don't know.
- This week? - Yeah. I'll pick you up.
Pick me up? Well, I got my own car.
- No. - I can take a cab.
Uh, the neighborhood's a little hairy.
A cab might not wanna come up here. Right.
- I'm, uh, looking forward to it too. - Yeah.
Bye.
Yes, we're coordinating security for the president's walking tour.
No, I'm not taking a cheap shot, Dave...
but this precinct is operating at less than full strength...
we've got two fresh homicides, and, boy, is this rotten.
No. Sorry. Not you, Dave.
A letter I just received. Look, uh-
All I'm saying is that with 11 men out with the flu...
on top of everything else, I got a real "blivit" on my hands.
I- Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah. We'll do the best we can. Thanks, Commander.
No dice. The only extra body they're sending us is the police decorator... again!
I don't understand why Phil doesn't like her.
She's a stunning woman.
Fay Furillo, please.
Ray, would you excuse me? Just a second.
Sure.
- Are you all right, Frank? - Yeah, yeah. I just have to make a personal call.
- Hello? - Fay, this is really the lowest.
Wh-What do you think, I got a Swiss bank account...
- with a million bucks squirreled away or some- - I just talked to my lawyer.
Yeah? Well, let me tell you something, Fay. Y-
The letter- Can they really do what he says?
Garnish your wages, no.
There are laws that protect you from that sort of thing.
Then what the hell is she trying to do?
I think she's trying to bully you into paying more child support.
I'm broke. I don't have any more.
Even if I did, that kind of thing is blackmail, isn't it?
There are two kinds of divorces, Frank.
In one kind, the couple breaks up...
splits the property, works out the custody of the kids...
and goes their separate ways.
In the other kind, the two people break up...
split the property, work out the custody of the kids...
and then continue to scratch at all the problems...
that itched them in their marriage.
The only difference is they do it long distance between the lawyers.
What kind of divorce do you have?
What should I do?
Well, you can respond with a lawyer's letter of your own...
but that will necessitate a response from her lawyer...
et cetera, et cetera, ad infinitum.
And the only people who will get your money will be the letter writers.
Or the two of you can sit down like two adults and review the situation.
I'm extended to the limit as it is.
Have you gotten a raise in those two years?
- Just cost of living. - Has Fay?
All right, I surrender.
I'll talk to her.
Don't do it for me, Frank. Do it for your son...
and yourself.
You'd have made a hell of a marriage counselor, counselor.
Remember this bracelet?
Mmm.
We got it in that little antique shop.
Mm-hmm. The first weekend we ever spent together.
Oh-
Gold- It suits you, Davenport.
I love you.
And I love that bracelet.
But it's not doing either of us any good sitting on my wrist.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
I'd hock my watch before I'd let you do that.
Can I offer you a loan?
Understand something, Joyce. If my son needed an operation or something like that...
I'd jump on your offer in a second.
But you're right, this is between Fay and me.
And I don't want you in the middle.
Can I see you tonight?
Can you promise you won't run out on me when that buzzer goes off?
I don't wanna promise something I might not be able to deliver.
Fair enough.
Let me think about it and call you later?
I love you, moneybags.
What's not to love?
Dispatch, I got an assault complaint.
943 Beekman Avenue...
apartment three, third floor.
How about, uh, Hingle and Perez?
No, forget that.
Pull Hill and Renko off the park.
Corner room to the left, Officers. He's beating her something awful.!
All right in there. Open up the door. Police.
He's crazy, man. He's got a gun!
I said open up the door, or I'm gonna kick it in!
Renko, the woman said he's got a gun.
Let's just call for some backups.
- You scared? - No.! No.!
Kick it.
Get outta here!
Come on, man, kick it!
No! No!
Call in a couple backups and the medics. I'm going after him.
Sorry. Don't- Don't shoot me, man.
Bobby?
What you doing? You turn on the lights?
- I thought you were gonna kill him, man. - So he could dust me!
He could've killed me, man!
He could've killed me! He could've killed me!
Frank- Frank, I have a half a dozen calls here from Parker.
You'd think we had nothing better to do than hold that guy's hand.
- Plus, your ex-wife called. - Her I want.
And you got a fire to put out over there.
Yeah, I, uh, thought we might get together tonight, talk.
Tonight.
Look, I get outta here about 7:00.
Let's say we meet someplace in the open.
Sally's Clam House? Yeah, I know the place.
8:00's cool.
I got half a dozen report cards here from civilians...
who seem to think you're a couple of outpatients from County Psychiatric.
What the hell's wrong with you?
It's not working out, Captain. You know how it goes sometimes.
No, I don't, Renko. Educate me.
I want to go into plainclothes.
- Esterhaus promised me he'd talk to you about it. - All right.
Let's run the request up to Division. You know you'll have to leave the precinct.
- What about you? What's your problem? - Him.
Fine. Then it's solved- you're divorced.
- Just like that? - You got it, Hill. Just like that.
I've seen this before. Don't think you're the only ones.
You walked in the wrong doorway and got smacked. You both oughta be dead.
Not because you screwed up, and not because you're bad cops.
You're not. As a matter of fact, you're exceptionally good.
But it happens. And if you survive, it's never like it was.
It's always with you. The "what ifs."
"Which one of us failed?"
And the shame, embarrassment...
the anger-
And most of all, the fear of going back out there.
Well, it doesn't faze me, Captain.
That's bull. You were scared outta your socks.
Turnir on that light switch.
Who's tellir who who's scared?
Sure, I was. But I can admit it, Renko.
- I've got no problem with that. - Then admit it.
You're swimmir in it!
All right. So I'm nervous out there. Big deal.
You just make me plainclothes, and I'll get over that real fast!
I told you I'd process the request, Renko, and I will. Clear?
Yes, sir.
Meantime, I want you to get your acts together individually...
or neither one of you has much of a future.
How you do that is your business.
But I won't tolerate incompetence on the job, not for any reason.
Until I hear otherwise, Phil will be finding you separate duty assignments.
Oh, man, don't start that.
Would you stop it, man?
Don't tell me what to do.
You wouldn't last more than 10 minutes out there without me anyway.
Oh, yeah? I haven't been doing too good with ya anyway.
Ah. Oh, Jesus.
We need each other, Bobby.
I'm afraid we do, cowboy.
Look, uh...
why don't we just go get something to eat...
- and, uh, go back to work? - Right.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
I've been thinking about this thing nonstop.
It's really messed up my head.
Now, look, whatever you and your people are into, that's your business.
I don't want no part of it.
I'm gonna give you the money back.
Detective LaRue.
We're from Internal Affairs. You're under arrest.
Nothing turns my stomach like a crooked cop.
Yeah.
All right!
This is the way you wanna play it, huh, Macafee?
Okay.
Feel better?
I've always enjoyed a good soak.
You know what you need, Furillo?
- Hmm? - A facial. How about it?
Absolutely.
I've needed one of those for years.
And then a prolonged body massage...
with apricot lotion.
I've always been particularly fond of apricots, counselor.
Mmm.
Phil, Frank.
Francis, I really feel terrible disturbing you like this.
I feel terrible disturbing you like this, Francis.
- What's the problem, Phil? - It's Fay.
- What about Fay? - She's been arrested.
What?
I had a call from a Detective Walsh at the Polk Avenue Precinct.
She's raising hell down there...
and I thought you might just want to address the situation.
Oh, wonderfulness.
- A murder? - It might just come to that.
Well, then let's hope for the best- maybe manslaughter.
Any chance of keeping that tub full?
Before we got our respective divorces...
I used to tell myself that the sight of you pulling on your socks...
and rushing off into the night didn't bother me.
I told myself that I understood.
I thought that when the dust settled...
there'd be more time for us to, uh, explore each other...
and maybe find out or figure out if we were capable of something more...
than just an extramarital game of bump and tickle.
Maybe I can come back.
Don't promise what you can't deliver, Frank.
Is this it? Is this the best we can hope for?
It's a two-way street, kiddo.
When was the last time you had more than a couple ofhours to spare?
Detective Walsh, shield number 1974...
indelibly burned into my brain.
Your behind is gonna be in a sling, mister, when my husband gets here.
He's here, ma'am. You can go now.
Well, it's about time.
- Where the hell have you been? - I just got the call from Phil Esterhaus.
I don't have to ask where you've been.
I was enjoying the air in a friend's hot tub, thank you very much...
when this S.S. Man, in a totally unwarranted raid...
invaded our privacy!
I think at the very least what we're looking at here is false arrest, police brutality.
- Fay, please, let's just go. - We were investigating a neighbor's complaint, sir.
Frank, have you ever been subjected to a cavity search?
A quantity of marijuana was seized on the scene, sir.
- Well, it wasrt mine! I don't use drugs! - Fay, let's go.
Captain, I'm sorry. We didn't know who she was.
Well, why don't you ask next time, you bozo!
Fay, shut up!
Thank you, Walsh. Don't worry, you were just doing your job.
Never- Never in my whole life...
have I ever been treated like that!
I am gonna sue this department's cheeks off!
How dare they!
Who do they think I am, just some sort of a common-
I was so scared.
I know. I know. It's okay.
What were you doing there anyway?
I told you.
You were all in there... naked?
No, I was wearing a wet suit.
Of course, we were naked.
Who were they?
Friends of Harvey's.
Where was- what's his name- Harvey?
At a psychiatric convention in California.
He's very conservative about things like this, Frank.
- When he finds out- - He doesn't have to find out.
- I was booked. - You can be unbooked.
I can?
- First, we have to talk. - About what?
- The letter from the lawyer. - That's blackmail.
No one's trying to blackmail anyone.
I just want to talk-you and me.
Fay, we're adults.
We once loved each other very much.
We still share a love for our son.
There's no reason we should beat each other up with threats.
For once since the divorce, I just want to sit down and talk...
work out something we can both live with.
What do you say?
Okay.
I'd like that, Frank.
Come on. I'll drive you home.
- Are you sure I won't be charged? - It's already taken care of.
You know, you're really not so bad, Frank.
Oh, God. What a night.
How many friends of yours were in that hot tub?
- What are you, an accountant? - I'm concerned, that's all.
- Oh. - In spite of everything, I still care about you.
You do, huh?
You know...
I had an erotic dream about you the other night.
Do you ever dream about me?
I've been known to.